Word of the Week: Lonely

Lonely: affected with or characterized by a depressing feeling of being alone; lonesome. Solitary. Standing apart. Isolated. Strong’s Word #3173 is defined as lonely, but it also means beloved. That meaning must come from the sense of being the only one. You are your honey’s one and only.

If you read my posts, you know I typically have the summertime blues. I have a feeling I’m not the only one. After all, July 11 is National Cheer Up the Lonely Day. Not sometime in the dead of winter, but smack dab in the middle of summer.

I know God is telling me something when I see the same word, repeated at different times, locations and contexts, but in close proximity. A few weeks ago it was ‘Anchor.’ In the past week, it has been this sad little word ‘lonely.’ On top of that, thinking over the word lonely has brought up this musical blast from the past. Do you remember this song?

Lonely is kind of one of the tools of my trade, as Mental Health Ministry Director for Key Ministry. Last week I got a long message from a mom, talking about how lonely the years were after her child was diagnosed with a serious mental illness. That was no surprise.

As an eating disordered young woman, I distinctly remember not wanting to take up space, not wanting more than my share of food, or clothes, or resources. Yet somehow, I also desperately wanted to be significant, to do something of significance with my life. That contrast captures some of the essence of my young adult loneliness.

Almost ten years ago, I went to a ministry event where a woman who bills herself as a prophetess was the speaker. After more than thirty minutes of praise and worship, the group of about twenty people entered into a time of extended prayer. Music played softly, while the prophetess approached each person individually, quietly speaking to them directly and praying over them.

When she got to me, she took my hands, looked deeply into my eyes for a moment, then said, “God knows you’re lonely.”

I don’t recall anything else she said, or what she prayed. Driving home that night, my recurring thought was, What must I project? What does my body language say?

She didn’t know anything about me, but that very night, I was feeling pretty lonely. My father had been diagnosed with terminal cancer; I was making frequent day-long or overnight trips to my parents’ home to help with his care. School had been difficult for my son the previous year, and I was frankly worried about him.

That was actually the second personal word I received from the Lord that fall. A month earlier, because of everything that was happening with my family, I prayed one September morning, “God, do you want me to continue working in ministry?” The very next day, a woman who was represented by the same speaker’s bureau as me unexpectedly messaged me. She had been praying over the people in the bureau, and God told her to tell me to “keep doing what I’m doing.”

God lavishes His love on us in our loneliness. It’s when we’re alone and lonely that He gets the most personal; it’s when He lets me know I am beloved. We may not be obviously wounded when we’re lonely, but when it’s just me with my thoughts and hurts and God, you bet God becomes personal. Anything that happens in that space of longing and despair that lets me know I am loved is life-changing, earth shattering. He grabs my attention and never let me go.

So if you’re lonely today, you are not alone. Ask your question of God, and listen for His answer. You might not learn the answer to every ‘why,’ but He might just give you a message crafted just for you, to sustain you in the now.

I’d love to hear your experiences with loneliness and how God provided personal comfort. Feel free to share in the comments.